▲13174 | reblog
you can blow smoke rings? pretty cool bro but check this out (takes a long drag)(blows a vagina made of smoke)(blows a perfectly formed smoke dick which glides through the air and collides with it)(the smoke coalesces into a smoke baby)(the baby flies through the air and grabs a knife)(as you fight the smoke baby i scream “DID YOU THINK YOU COULD FUCK WITH THE SMOKE WIZARD AND GET AWAY? DID YOU THINK THERE WOULD BE NO RAMIFICATIONS?”)
so i remember about two weeks ago this guy from my class was like me and my cat are soulmates we’re always together and i thought he’s just weird but then this happened i am 750% done with this place
(Source: supermassiveasshole)▲252487 | reblog
▲310 | reblog
in utter shock that the nintendo ds came out 43 years ago
think that’s old?
Pokemon Red/Blue came out 65 million years ago.
only paleogene kids remember when there were 151 pokemon
▲379204 | reblog
why couldn’t i be born with an older brother who is my best friend and has hot friends that flirt with me and drives me places like mcdonalds when im sad and punches rude boys in the face for me.
My brother once sat on me and farted until I passed out
my brother duct taped me to a treadmill and turned it to the highest setting once
when I was four my brother locked me in a ferret cage for an hour on Christmas Eve